FINDING SELF LOVE IN A SEA OF COMPARISON

Earlier this month I began talking about how we can start out 2018 with a deep sense of LOVE for ourselves. Last week I spoke about how even though so many of us struggle with cellulite, it starts with a heart change in seeing that we are BEAUTIFUL no matter what bumps and lumps we have on our body. Then I released an uber vulnerable video about #TRUTHTALK: I used to photoshop my body. Ay Carumba…. if that isn’t a vulnerable topic then I don’t know WHAT is! So today, in keeping with the theme of truly embracing a deep steadfast love for ourselves, I’d love to dive a bit deeper into the topic of self confidence in a sea of comparison. Shall we?

SO! First of all… how can we truly define COMPARISON and how does it happen?

COMPARISON happens when you fall victim to the mentality that you do not have enough, and that what you do have is second best. Comparison literally poisons our minds to believe lies about ourselves, and others. At the end of the day, comparison actually tells us that we are NOT enough.

Ugh.

I am quite literally exhausted just thinking about how my mind can play so many tricks on me, aren’t you? Those days where I find myself in a downward spiral of “if only”, and “never me”, and “not enough” make me cringe…but that doesn’t mean they don’t happen. Here is the thing. Who is to say this way of thinking has to continue? Who is to say we cannot conquer these thoughts ONCE and for ALL?!

My amazing friends at Maggy London are HUGE advocates of this message and have joined me today to promote a note of body positivity and self love, as we fight the battle of comparison and seek ultimate joy and the pursuit to thrive each and every day! The lovely navy dress I am wearing in this post is one that is available for all shapes and sizes, petite, regular, and plus size…. and boy do I LOVE that! They truly are such a brand that loves embracing the beauty of a woman at every shape & size. Thank you Maggy London for helping to spread this beautiful message of empowerment and se.f LOVE!

So today, we bring you the top 3 ways to fight for self love in a sea of comparison!

1. FIGHT With All Your Might Against the Scarcity Mentality

Shooo scarcity, GO AWAY! Instead, I welcome you ABUNDANCE! I spoke about this exact thing, choosing abundance over scarcity, earlier in 2017 with my post on  how to live an abundant life. Basically, the idea is that if there is a pie + someone gets too big of a piece of the pie, that must mean that there is actually less for the rest of us. They got more, so there could not possibly be a way for me to ever get as much as they are getting of the pie. This scarcity comparison mentality is literally crippling us from ever stepping into what we are truly called to be. It makes us feel left out, and unworthy of things based on the sole assumption that there is not enough pie to go around.

Shooo scarcity, GO AWAY! Instead, I welcome you ABUNDANCE! Click To Tweet

I think that social media does a brilliant [ugh] job at playing into this mentality. We see someone thriving with their dream job and dream man and dream family and living all the DREAMY things you long to be have…. and suddenly we start thinking that will never possibly be us. Ever. There is not enough of whatever “that” is to go around. So you just get stuck with the smaller slice of pie and have to make do. Meh.

The truth is, we CAN fight this mentality. We CAN be rooted in the truth that there is MORE than one pie to go around. There is no longer just ONE winner of the pie. Rather, there are many pies and therefore in essence we all win in our own way. When you switch to an abundance mentality in ALL that you do, you suddenly realize that you begin to embrace your own self-worth + confidence fully and completely.

Let’s not envy someone else’s small nuggets when God has promised us TREASURES.

Let's not envy someone else's small nuggets when God has promised us TREASURES. Click To Tweet

2. KNOW That You Are Your Own Perfect YOU!

There is only ONE of you, and that one of you is ever so perfectly imperfect. There truly is no such thing as the perfect body, or the perfect wife, or the perfect lifestyle, or the perfect home. The way each of those things are “perfect”, is because they are specific to YOU and your uniqueness. The more we can embrace our uniqueness, the easier it will be to accept our flaws as beautiful.

The more we can embrace our uniqueness, the easier it will be to accept our flaws as beautiful. Click To Tweet

Our bodies are one place where this is especially important.We are constantly inundated with advertisements, and pictures, and all sorts of media telling us what is the “ideal” body type for a woman. The perfectly chiseled abs, slim waistline, high cheekbones, thick hair, and tone behind are just a few of the things that are perpetuated again and again. But here’s the question I want you to start asking yourself:

Since when did having our bodies be any specific shape or size ever truly impact the world?

Since when did having an ideal body type even mean that we were a better person?

Since when did we ever showcase true meaning through the way we looked?

I am not saying those with amazing bodies don’t do incredible things. Not at all. But rather, I’m trying to let you in on the little secret that you, just as YOU are, are capable of making a true difference in the lives of others regardless of what you look like on the outside. I think we succumb to comparison much more frequently when we forget just how PERFECT our imperfection truly is. When we forget how MEMORABLE we can be with our actions. When we forget now MEANINGFUL we can be with our hearts…. we take away the power in knowing what is truly making an impact on the world.

You, just as YOU are, are capable of making a true difference in the lives of others regardless of what you look like on the outside. Click To Tweet

If we are going to fight this ugly battle of comparison, we have to first embrace that we are beautiful, lovely, amazing, talented, courageous, unique, lovable, fierce, strong, inspiring…. JUST the way we are.

If we are going to fight this ugly battle of comparison, we have to first embrace that we are beautiful, lovely, amazing, talented, courageous, unique, lovable, fierce, strong, inspiring.... JUST the way we are. Click To Tweet

3. HOLD Your Chin Up, Head Down

Repeat this to yourself. Someone else’s joy does not equal my failure. Someone else’s joy does not equal my failure. Someone else’s joy does not equal my failure.

If we are able to hold our chin UP through the storms of life and keep our head DOWN when we are faced with constant media telling us what we should and should not look like/do/have/want… then we might actually be able to fend off the big bad ugly wolf of comparison once and for all! I think one of the best things we can do to ward off big bad ugly comparison is to truly STAY IN OUR LANE.

Keep your eyes focused on the things ahead. Remain strong in knowing that you are promised a life of greatness. Simultaneously understand, this greatness WILL look different from the person next to you. The best part is…if we choose to remain focused with our eyes ahead fixed in our lane, we won’t even have the change to be upset about what is happening in other people’s lives because OUR own journey will be enough!

Keep your eyes focused on the things ahead. Remain strong in knowing that you are promised a life of greatness. Click To Tweet

Lastly, hold your chin UP. When the storms of life come blowing, we can often get knocked down which can often dismantle our strength and concentration on the road ahead. This is where in the world of comparison, we must start choosing to live a wholehearted life: living from a place of worthiness and strength even when life gets you down. I love how the amazing Brene Brown puts it in her book, Rising Strong:

“I define wholehearted living as engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am brave and worthy of love and belonging” –Brene Brown

So lovely readers, in partnership with the AMAZING Maggy London team, we want to encourage you to embrace self love in a sea of comparison. Here are your mantras for the next week.

SELF LOVE MANTRAS

You are beautiful, lovely, amazing, talented, courageous, unique, lovable, fierce, strong, inspiring…. JUST the way we are.

You are brave and worthy of having LOVE and being VALUED

Someone else’s joy does not equal your failure.

Do not envy someone else’s small nuggets when God has promised you TREASURES!

Live Loved,

K

Dress: Maggy London

Thank you to Maggy London for sponsoring this beautiful post!

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