Ahhh yes, friends. Indeed it is that time of the year and while many of you may be feeling oh so thrilled about the holiday season… some of you may also not so much be looking forward to one particular aspect of this time of year: BEING SINGLE. We all know that the holidays evoke endless amounts of cheery emotion, but one aspect that seems to jolt just about all of us single holiday goers is the thought of love. The “being single” factor just seems to hit a bit harder when you see all the couples cuddling by the fire, and buying one another adorable presents. Am I right?
While all the love birds are galavanting around on their holiday dates, you find yourself snuggled up at home in your flannel pajamas alone with candles lit and a glass of wine watching the Holiday, wondering when in the world your Jude Law (or Cameron Diaz) will magically show up. Come ON! So today, instead of going into this season feeling sorry for ourselves, this post is all about how to survive being single during the holidays (I believe you can do it!).
I will be completely honest with you all… I haven’t had a boyfriend during the holiday season in over 7 years- GASP! While I have had various relationships along the way, they all seem to end right before the holidays. Every time one ends right before November I find myself thinking “Seriously?!? Another year of cuddling alone by the fire with hot cocoa? Ugh.” I am sure some of you reading this are with me right now. And while you may be tempted to feel sad about the lack of romance in your life…. I want to encourage you today that there IS a way to find joy and positivity even in the midst of feeling so overtly single. I think it’s safe to say we need to be extra disciplined this season. Instead of advice, I want to offer a set of “New Rules” for all of us singles to truly embrace what the holidays have to offer even whilst being single.
Rule # 1: Have girls nights. Lots and lots of girls nights!
(OR guys nights if you are a dude). Chances are, you are not the only one of your friends in need of a pick me up in this season. Rally around one another and bring your friends together to spread some holiday cheer. I recently hosted a Fall Harvest night and us ladies brought holiday themed foods and went around asking questions about our greatest Holiday memories. It was incredibly fun, and filled with tons of laughter. You see, when you are sharing in the joy of the season with community, it becomes far less likely that your mind will wander into self pity and loneliness. “What if no one is hosting anything, Kait?“, you may ask? Well, then all the more power to YOU to host an amazing themed evening with friends. Not only will it be a gift for you, but I’m pretty sure your other single friends will love you for it, too.
Rule # 2: Take yourself on a Holiday themed date.
Ice Skating for one? YES, indeed you heard me… go out and romance yourself! While you may see tons of romantic things happening all around you, that does not mean this is the time to fall into a deep state of sadness and #FOMO. Friends, let’s have a #truthtalk moment here. You may see others cuddling by the fire, or going ice skating, or driving through cute neighborhoods to look at Christmas lights….BUT, that does not mean that you cannot also do these things yourself! Today I want to empower you that all of these fun, romantic “date-like” holiday ideas are all possible for YOU too.
Before you up and start thinking “It’s just not the same doing those things alone“, I want you to remember something: You are not complete just because you have a significant other. You are independent and fully WHOLE without a companion. Why? Because if you are a follower of Christ, you have Jesus. And let me tell you, He is the best boyfriend a girl could ask for. I’m actually not even joking in the slightest.
SO! I encourage you this season to let your heart be open to being romanced by doing things for yourself! Don’t miss out on fun holiday themed ideas just because you don’t have a partner to share them with. I can promise you that sitting at home wallowing in the loneliness of being single whilst your couple friends are out on their fabulous dates will not do you any good. Put on your favorite holiday tunes and dress in some festive attire and take yourself out on a Holiday date!
Rule # 3: Stop comparing.
Ahh yes, comparison. The ultimate thief of all joy that just sucks the living greatness out of any lovely activity and joyous season. With all the love-y dove-y holiday tunes and cute-sy holiday movies and romantic holiday activities, the one thing I tell myself every morning during the Holidays is that one day that will be me. I don’t need to worry right now. And guess what friends?! You need not worry either!
It is so crucial right now to avoid allowing your mind to spiral into a downward abyss of thinking that you will never have a significant other during the holidays. Sure, maybe this season looks like cuddle time for 1 by the fire, but I can assure you… it won’t look like that forever. Remember our convo earlier this year about living in ABUNDANCE? Mmmmhmm, the truth is that a beautiful abundant story is waiting for you! So throw away your comparison like last year’s tacky Christmas sweater, okay?
Rule # 4: Kick start your New Year’s Resolutions.
Instead of seeing this time as a means to feel lonely or defeated, start empowering yourself towards the future. Now is a perfect time to kick start your New Year’s Resolutions and begin reneweing your perspective before the close of the previous year. Start journaling. Start working out more. Start writing down your ideas, dreams, and visions for the next 365 days. Whatever it may be, this is can be a fun way to start pressing FORWARD into your future!
Rule # 5: Celebrate and Dress with Confidence !
Don’t let this season of being single steal your joy. Dress up and go to holiday parties. In fact, holiday parties are actually a great way to meet some other eligible people in your network- wink wink 😉 . Most likely if you find yourself feeling a bit down about being single this season, you better believe there are some other eligibles out there who are in the same boat. This is your time to OWN it, get out there and have fun (and look fierce while doing so, of course)!
Speaking of! Showcasing confidence through dressing your best is a must in this holiday season of singleness. If you’re a woman I highly recommend the brand Maggy London (featured here in this post), for some amazing feminine attire that will bring out your inner confidence. Their pieces are perfect for going from day to night. I took this traditional LBD and turned it completely holiday with accessories and layering. You better believe I am going to be strutting around town this December feeling my best and owning my singleness in this fierce Maggy London Holiday look.
A few last notes on how to survive being single during the holidays:
- Don’t tell yourself you aren’t good enough. Don’t you DARE let those negative thoughts creep into your mind. You are fully worthy, beyond worthy in fact.
- Remind yourself of the beauty of singleness. Isn’t it funny how sometimes we fast forward to the end goal in our minds, but once we finally get there we sometimes miss what we had before?! Don’t rush it too much. I promise you, singleness can actually be a gift if you choose to see it as such.
- Choose JOY as much as possible. Life has enough hardships, don’t let being single steal another second of the joy that comes from celebrating this beautiful time of year!
- Do as much as you can to be in community and enjoy the company of friends and family around you. This season only has to be lonely if you allow it to be!
So, friends, are you ready to conquer the holidays being single this year with a whole new set of rules? (cue Dua Lipa song)
Dress: Maggy London
Thank you to Maggy London for sponsoring this post!
Photos by Stef Marie